many Russian women are interested in contact and marriage
with men from abroad, and in most cases they prefer to find a
man from Europe or United States.
It is a general myth that Russian
women mainly seek foreign men as an easy way to get a higher
living standard than they can find in Russia, Ukraine, Belarus,
Estonia, Latvia or other
former Sovjet republics. This is however far not the full truth.
A Russian woman have many relevant reasons for seeking a man and marriage in others countries than Russia.
Naturally Russian girls and women
are quite as different as other girls and women in the World and
they of course have different motives and dreams. As a general
rule however women in Russia share a common dream of finding a good
man to share their life with. In many cases they find it
difficult to realize this dream in Russia and they therefore
decide to look for men in other countries to help this dream to
you consider finding a Russian wife you should be exactly
as serious as if you considered marrying the lady next door.
Only with a Russian wife you will often have even better chances
of finding a serious partner since they often have been forced
to think about their dreams, limits and goals in a future
marriage. In general Russian women have a more realistic view on
what they are
facing in a future relationship than many local woman in your
home country who may never have been forced to think seriously
about these matters.
On the other hand if you are
contacting Russian girls believing that this is in easy and
cheap way to
sex and no trouble - you have a high risk of being
disappointed. You might even find that your new bride is far more
aware of the consequences of that deal than you are yourself.
For this reason you should
prepare yourself to a longer process writing many e-mails, traveling to Russia several times
and maybe even meet several women
before you are even ready to start the next hard
work of helping your future bride into a new country, learning the language
and establishing a new life with you.
Although every Russian school girl has had several years with
lessons in English many - even
high educated - Russians - speak only a poor English. The main
reason is that they have very little use of it in Russia and
therefore have almost no practice of using the language. In
general younger girls and women know English better while women
of more mature ages have less experience with English.
It is of course an advantage if
you have a common language - even just to know each other
better. Some women try to manage the e-mail conversation with
help from friends and family who know English better but of
course it not safest way to know each other better.
You should be tolerant to the
fact that she has had little practice of speaking English, on the other
hand it is important that she has the motivation of improving
it. Later - if she decide to move to your country - she will
need to learn the local language (if English, German, Danish or
any other) and if she is not capable or interested in learning
a new language there are far less chances that she will be able
to be a happy with her new life. To be more frank: Russian women who
already have an education and have a acceptable job and life in Russia also
have much better chances of feeling well in a new country. If
she has not been able to establish a descent life in her home
country she will hardly be able to face all the challenges of
doing to same abroad - at least she will need even more help and
understanding from her future husband.
In most cases you have had the first contact through the
internet, and before you meet it is recommendable to have an
intense e-mail conversation and if she feels comfortable with
her language it can be even be a good idea to talk by phone or even
video-Skype before you meet in real life. (note that not all women
in Russia has easy access to the internet but no doubt the
communication is easier if she has). On the other hand you
should not wait too long before seeing each other. Even
thousands of e-mails can't ensure you that you fit for each
other and must Russian women will also need to feel that you are
serious about the relationship - and this you can only show this
by being willing to see her in real life.
In some cases your girl will
suggest that she comes to your country. Often because she may be
shy of showing her simple home or presenting her children to
a stranger. In many cases the best choice will be to meet on a
neutral place in Russia. In a hotel in Moscow (Moskva) or Saint
Petersburg (Sct. Petersburg), especially Saint Petersburg is
an impressing city for a romantic meeting which is also often
the city where Russian couples chose to be married and have
taken their bride photos. Since you can't be sure of the
relation it might be a good idea to book two rooms, but you
should be prepared to pay for both. Often she can't afford to
pay a hotel room in a larger city and a Russian woman will also find it natural that you
show your interest in her by paying for hotel and dinners.
Russian women and economy
Russian history has learned women and girls to survive.
Therefore it is natural for them not only to seek an interesting
man but also to look for a man who can offer some kind of
economic security. Her interest in your job and economy might
make you fear that she is too focused on your money and not at
you, but in general there is no reason to feel so.
Do remember that she is planning
change her life dramatically and move to another country. It is a very big
decision and risk for her. She will hardly bring much money to
her new home and her chances of getting a job are unsecure. She
will need to believe that you are able and willing to support
her in this new life and that you are serious in the
relationship. How can you blame her for this?
In most cases a Russian girl will
seek a secure life. Seldom it is important for her that you are
especially rich. Much more important is that you have a well
functioning life with a job, friends and family - showing that
you are able to offer her security, care and good family life in
Russian women prefer to find a man who is older than her and
they will often accept - or even prefer - an age difference
considerably higher than western women tend to do. In some dating sites you will find young girls and women who
seem to be willing to marry men who are 20 or even 30 years
older than them.
Of course people are different and in love it
is difficult to judge, but in general you should think more than
twice before you choose to marry a girl so much younger. Even if
it feels flattering that a young beautiful girl is interested
in you, it may not end of being the most happy marriage. Already
you have a lot of challenges because of language, cultural
differences, family in two countries, job etc. Why should you
seek problems that are not given? In her current situation she
might believe that she can be a good wife to a much older man
who loves her and can offer her security. But when you get older
and she still feels that she has her life in front of her, how
will she feel then?
Nobody can say it is impossible
but your chances of a happy marriage are in general better if you
look for a woman that is about the same generation as yourself.
Exactly as it would be if you married the lady next door in
your home country.
Even though most Russian women have serious intentions of
finding a good man to share their life with, there are also
people who try to misuse men who desperately seek love. In some
cases dating profiles can tell about girls who do not really
exist and only have the purpose of tracking money from men who
contact "her". In other cases you might find girls who are too
focused on your money and less of contributing to a happy common
life. Be especially aware of uninvited spam-mails from women in
Russia you never contacted before. It is likely they are fraud.
The best you can do to avoid this
is to be serious - as you would be with a girl in your home
country. Writing letters that need personal answers and not
offering to send a lot of money before you have met and got the
first personal impression of each other. This might be an extra
reason for having the first date in Russia instead of in your
home country. There are examples of men who send a large sum of
money for an airplane ticket to a lady that did not exist in
Why do Russian women seek
The great changes of the society of Russia, former wars and
social problems has had big consequences for the Russian
population and no doubt men has had more difficulties to accept
and adapt to these changes. Today there are about 10 million
less men than women in Russia. The average life expectancy of
Russian men are only 59 years while women can expect to live 13
years longer. This makes it difficult for women to find a decent
man in their own country - although of course these demographic
problems are a greater problem for mature women while girls up
to 30 hardly have the same problems. On the other hand many
young high educated women don't feel comfortable with Russian
men of whom many have not been able to adapt to the changes in
society. This together with great economic problems in the
Russian society results in millions of women who feel that they
have no bright future either for their professional life or
their family life.
It will always be a good idea to read more about Russia and
Russian culture to make it easier for you to understand your
future wife and place she comes from. Start with travel guides
which often have special chapters about Russian life and
culture. If you get contact with a girl try to find it on the
map and find books about city.
Among other places on the
internet you can find relevant some good advices about marriage
with Russian women on
www.womenrussia.com/faq.htm or read some of the comments on
the site of
www.russian-women.net/Russian-women-facts.shtml. Also take your time to search
on the internet for serious dating sites and blogs from people
who have experience. Don't forget: You are working on the
happiness of your future life so please offer some time on